Foreclosure Chronicles & Hoarder Process, part 4
Today, an inspector came to view and take pictures of the house. He kinda looked like the guy that sells the kitty sticks for the "cats from Hell" program.
Last night, I had not slept more than four hours. As this ongoing struggle happens, it has been affecting my sleep. Each time there has been something: getting the first "real" wake up that I might possibly lose this house, how I would go about raising the money this housing assistance place wants me to have and now, knowing I had to let a stranger into the inner sanctum of slobbatude that has been my residence for the last ten years.
Not only did I not sleep last night, I had an anxiety attack prior to his arrival. I started shaking and crying. I was having a mini freak out. I can't recall having that happen recently,
I recall now having one went a friend and I went to Tulum, Mexico, last summer. I don't know if it was the heat or the altitude or the combination but I kinda lost down there. Crying, shaking and unable to catch my breath.
Just the thought of someone, anyone coming into my home for the purpose of taking pictures and judging me or feeling sorry for or ashamed of me was overwhelming me. For the first time, in a long time, I thought "maybe I do need to talk to someone about this again."
As a matter of fact, I think my own father has not been in my home for at least upwards of two years. Time really flies when you're in hiding.
However, the guy was really nice. He was kind. He asked me how long I had been dealing with my "situation." For a long time, was my parents home, etc., were the answers awkwardly given. But he didn't seem judgmental. He actually expressed a tender care. He reassured me a couple of times that they were "there to help." He even touched my shoulder and looked at me even though I really could not give him eye contact. He said that he had been "very busy today" but that so far "only two homes" had not passed the inspection.
He went into the basement. He took pictures in the den and bathroom. Kitchen too. At least the bathroom was very clean if nothing else was decent. I was pleased with my own self about the bathroom. I had said that if I could clean the bathroom, I would reward myself with a Bath & Body Works hand soap! I got my soap! I guess little rewards for little achievable goals are in order. 😊
So now, I think I still have more paperwork to complete. I believe they want me to list my student loans to see if I qualify as impoverished. Sure. Why not? Now that I have done a little bit of cleaning, I think I know where that paperwork is so I'll get that ready for them.
I might even file my taxes this year! Big fat goal!
The next house cleaning goal is finishing the horizontal surfaces in the kitchen and cleaning the rest of the refrigerator. Then, I can go grocery shopping. Oh, I also have to clean out my pantry too.
My confidence is building. . . A little.. . But it's on the way.
Last night, I had not slept more than four hours. As this ongoing struggle happens, it has been affecting my sleep. Each time there has been something: getting the first "real" wake up that I might possibly lose this house, how I would go about raising the money this housing assistance place wants me to have and now, knowing I had to let a stranger into the inner sanctum of slobbatude that has been my residence for the last ten years.
Not only did I not sleep last night, I had an anxiety attack prior to his arrival. I started shaking and crying. I was having a mini freak out. I can't recall having that happen recently,
I recall now having one went a friend and I went to Tulum, Mexico, last summer. I don't know if it was the heat or the altitude or the combination but I kinda lost down there. Crying, shaking and unable to catch my breath.
Just the thought of someone, anyone coming into my home for the purpose of taking pictures and judging me or feeling sorry for or ashamed of me was overwhelming me. For the first time, in a long time, I thought "maybe I do need to talk to someone about this again."
As a matter of fact, I think my own father has not been in my home for at least upwards of two years. Time really flies when you're in hiding.
However, the guy was really nice. He was kind. He asked me how long I had been dealing with my "situation." For a long time, was my parents home, etc., were the answers awkwardly given. But he didn't seem judgmental. He actually expressed a tender care. He reassured me a couple of times that they were "there to help." He even touched my shoulder and looked at me even though I really could not give him eye contact. He said that he had been "very busy today" but that so far "only two homes" had not passed the inspection.
He went into the basement. He took pictures in the den and bathroom. Kitchen too. At least the bathroom was very clean if nothing else was decent. I was pleased with my own self about the bathroom. I had said that if I could clean the bathroom, I would reward myself with a Bath & Body Works hand soap! I got my soap! I guess little rewards for little achievable goals are in order. 😊
So now, I think I still have more paperwork to complete. I believe they want me to list my student loans to see if I qualify as impoverished. Sure. Why not? Now that I have done a little bit of cleaning, I think I know where that paperwork is so I'll get that ready for them.
I might even file my taxes this year! Big fat goal!
The next house cleaning goal is finishing the horizontal surfaces in the kitchen and cleaning the rest of the refrigerator. Then, I can go grocery shopping. Oh, I also have to clean out my pantry too.
My confidence is building. . . A little.. . But it's on the way.
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