How Teaching in an Urban Environment Affects Me Daily

There is a class that is right before lunch. Each day it is so wearisome. Each day they come in and do little of any work. They talk, look at videos on their phones, sleep, talk, swear, sing and make so much noise that students who actually try to behave like students have given up.

I also have given up. I'm so tired of trying to talk over them. I'm so tired of being blamed for them not turning in assignments that I "lost" when in actuality, they just didn't do the work.

It is so mind blowing to me that children of color are so obnoxious. They live up to every stereotype that people throughout the world believe about them. They literally are bad. They do not have to be but they make the choice to be.

They believe that you, as their teacher, are supposed to be nice, kind and respectful to them in spite of how mean, rude and disrespectful they are to you. Maybe I struggle because I am not a parent. I have heard that parents are supposed to give unconditional love. No matter how horrible their children may be, they are supposed to still love them all the same. I, however, have no children, nor do I plan on having any. I was rarely, if ever, rude to my parents. It was not tolerated. Even when my parents were going through on again, off again situations, I was still supposed to be obedient and respectful to both of them. In spite of how they disrespected each other and the family, we as their children were still supposed to be great kids.

Overall, I think I did the best I could. My sisters were either overtly rebellious or secretly scheming. I was really a good student and child until my father decided to womanize during my lifetime. I say "during my lifetime," because he had been doing it prior to my birth. . . I digress.

I realize I can not expect students to behave as I did as a youth. All that I am saying is they KNOW how to behave. They do not act like they are out of their minds when they are in front of whom they respect. Obviously, I do not meet that category.

So each day, I have this one horrific hour right before lunch. My lunch is only 30 minutes and by the time I get the students to exit my room, I go around and straighten out the room and then sit down for a minute to collect my thoughts and emotions. Lately, I have not been able to even eat anymore. My stomach, mind and heart are so jumbled and anxious that I just can not even eat anymore. I am so frustrated and angry that I have to keep going through the same garbage every day, that I just no longer try to eat. I am afraid that if I did, I would cause myself to have indigestion.

What happens when I get my prep period? I will sometimes eat my lunch then, but, of course, that time is supposed to be used to prepare for the three classes that I have. It would seem that three classes are really not that big of a deal. I have been in schools where I have had more than three classes. However, this school has students who just rob you peace of mind. No, I should not allow that to happen but it keeps happening every day. I fear that this may be affecting my heart and blood pressure.

I thought the video below was apropos:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAYaueESwMA





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